never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize