I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize