mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm really into asian looking animals
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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