I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
