I just saw a hot homeless man
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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