They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
