He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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