im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
