umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
