weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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