there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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