And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
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