I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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