You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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