you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
