my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
