the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
