so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
