I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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