Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
