How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
