one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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