Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Randomize
