I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
