So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
