I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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