Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
accomplished twins. life is a go
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
