jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
