and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
