gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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