with your own penis?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize