FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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