I hate your face
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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