You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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