How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
