pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
