I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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