we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
