hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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