We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
