Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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