fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
