Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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