Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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