i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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