FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
