She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
