North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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