You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
