Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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