I heard we made out
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
