So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
