if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
