Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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