My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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