Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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