I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
