dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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