as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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