Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
