yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
