Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
