My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
